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Alphies Restaurant
5725 Hollister Ave, Goleta
Phone: (805) 683-1202

Reviews by the General Public

My go to breakfast spot, 8/13/2018
Reviewer: William from Santa Barbara, CA

First time back after the fire, 6/13/2018
Reviewer: pj from Santa Barbara, CA
The food and service were awful. What happened? The only seasoning they know is salt. I ordered their version of eggs benedict and got hard cooked eggs, curdled sauce and salty home fries. I was greeted by "sit anywhere". Not hello or welcome. HUGE Disappointment.

Aloha to Alphies :(
Reviewer: Jay from Santa Barbara, CA
Ok I have eaten at Alphies probably 5-6 times, and I can honestly say this place is just plain weird. The decor and vibe are like the tiki room meets pineapple princess. And the karaoke corner? WTF? Food: The food is never consistent, which always bugs me. Sometimes good, others salty and bland. Bread is so so, same for their biscuits. Service: if bringing your food and taking your order is service, ok then. But a smile or a nice word, sorry, not at this place. The lady and her family that run this place barley give a grimace, let alone smile. She also drags her feet when she walks which can get annoying. I don't know if perhaps their English is bad, so they don't like to talk or be nice, but sure could help this place. Conclusion: after a few try's, I say Aloha to Alphies.

Nice waiter and polynesian atmosphere, food below average
Reviewer: Glenn from Buellton
Possibly a hair net is in order as found a hair in food. Beyond that the breakfast was Ok and the burger was Ok but falling apart, fries poor. Been there 30+ years. Young waiter was nice. Just need to improve on hair issues I guess but my guess is they will be there another 30 years from the clientele that swears by them(for breakfast I think) but not really recommended by me. They do have an expansive breakfast menu though.

Last I Checked...
Reviewer: T. Marie from Santa Barbara, CA
There was a concept called "customer service" Unfortunately,it was more hostile than welcoming... As a previous reviewer mentioned, the cheese they use is not real, it is velveta for the egg dishes, and it is disgusting. I witnessed the cook taking fries off of one of the dishes that belonged to our party. The server was dry, and completely annoyed that we were there. Not to mention she was wearing flip flops and running her hands through her hair which should have been pulled back. She sat at the counter and ate, while we waited to pay our bill and was just plain dismissive. Very dissapointed...

Reviewer: Bob from Santa Barbara, CA
Nine times out of ten my experience at Alphie's has been very good. The food is tasty, the servings generous, the price more than reasonable, and the service good. It is only normal that at times service will vary. This is a family business, and once in a while someone does not show up and they are understaffed that morning, but all in all Alphie's is really a great local secret--good and big breakfast, wide variety on the menu, not at all expensive, and nice people. If you are a local, they cater to locals, and it is sort of like going to Cheers ("everybody knows your name"). This is not supposed to be the Biltmore. Get over it. Alphie's is genuine. It's the real deal. If you want tourism, go to the Bacara and pay ten times the price. Fess Parker's DoubleTree isn't always that good either--Alphie's has them beat most of the time. I've been going to Alphie's for about ten years. Have been disappointed maybe three times out of 100. Get real, people, this is the local place that's great.

Not a happy place.
Reviewer: Bob from Santa Barbara, CA
Very unfriendly place. They never say hello or thank you. Food not bad but with this kind of service I will never go back again. Just a crabby bunch that seem like the couldn't care less about you.

Everything out of a can
Reviewer: Studies from Santa Barbara, CA
Well maybe the eggs weren't. To call the decor eclectic is an understatement. This was a once in a lifetime experiences for my wife and I.

Polynesian-run breakfast with heart and soul
Reviewer: Laura from Santa Barbara, CA
This is a one-of-kind place. It's not perfect as others have noted. The food is better, I believe, than Cajun Kitchen. The atmosphere can't be matched: You've got interesting Polynesian art and Gauguin prints, home-cooked food, family running everything. If you go on a lucky Sunday you'll hear the owner play organ with his jazz ensemble and they could easily have a standing gig at Soho! The two grandmas who seat people: one is sweet, one is sour. The rest of the family are very kind and efficient and though it gets busy, there's never a bad vibe, just a busy vibe. It's a real place for real people (and soul people).

Velveeta--it's what's for breakfast
Reviewer: JohnD from Santa Barbara, CA
I sometimes would go to Alphie's "just because it's there." Nothing to really write home about--mediocre, forgettable food, so-so service. What finally put me off of it was that I one day ordered an omelette, only to discover after one bite that it was made with VELVEETA instead of cheese! When I told the lady who took my money at the cash register that the omelette was tuly the yardstick by which all truly terrible omelettes would be measured from that time forward, she beamed and said, "Oh. I'm so glad! I'll tell the cook." Any restaurant that even allows Velveeta within its doors is a restaurant that I'd rather avoid. Hey, call me an elitist. I've been called worse.

Top notch
Reviewer: jennifer garoso from Santa Barbara, CA
very good, a bit loud but i like it.

Take a look in the mirror!
Reviewer: Kristina from Santa Barbara, CA
Max from SB that titled his review "Such Morons" is naming himself. If Alphie's is that terrible, why does he continue to frequent the restaurant? The people he is calling "morons" are elderly members of the family that started the restaurant decades ago. It's touching that they are kept as part of the staff despite all the really horrible things people say in reviews. We have experienced the difficulties of these elderly people, but I was taught by my parents, and taught my own children, that all generations are valuable and deserve respect. The rantings about the bad flavors from the grill just seem like more of a negative rant. You keep going to Alphie's yet you don't like the food, hmmmm?

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