The recent wave of heat and humidity has been hard on us all. I was desperate to get a good night’s sleep so I borrowed a broken portable air conditioner that was collecting dust in my parents’ storage building, got it working again, and set it up in the master bathtub at my home in Goleta. I chose the tub as the location so I can leave the drain valve open and not have to empty the moisture collection bucket in the middle of the night. The humidity has been particular hard on the rusty Rumor Machine, causing the rolling pins to completely freeze up. To get it working again I put it on the edge of the tub, right in front of a stream of cool dry air coming from the air conditioner. My new bride was not particularly happy that the master bathroom was starting to look like the Sears parking lot on “electronics recycling day” but she was amazed when the Rumor Machine quickly came to life and popped out a piece of paper that read: “Jersey Mike’s Subs in Camino Real Marketplace are considering opening a new location at the vacant corner on La Cumbre Road in front of the AT&T store, across from Five Points Shopping Center.” As always, this rumor might be completely false or a brilliant forecast of future events. Your call.