This just in from Mac’s Fish & Chip Shop at 503 State St:

Hi Mr D,

Will and Kate aren’t going to be happy but the wife and I have decided to decline their kind invitation to speak/sing* at their wedding this coming Friday (*delete the least believable).  Instead, we’re going to be showing the repeated televised coverage of the royal wedding in the restaurant from 11:30am to 4pm and giving away FREE glasses of CHAMPAGNE with every meal to over 21’s whilst stocks last, which should be quite a while as I’ve bought a hideous amount.  We’re also giving away souvenir flags to the nippers with every kids meal purchased.  So if any of your readers happen to be hard core fans of royal unions (or, more likely, of free bubbly) then Mac’s if the place to be for lunch this Friday.

God Bless The Queen…and Free Shampoo.

PS  As an Englishman, I have privileged access to footage of the dress rehearsal of the wedding which I am happy to share with you.  Check it out at

Mac’s Fish & Chip Shop

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5 Responses to ROYAL TREATMENT

  1. NU says:

    You might want to check with the ABC about giving away FREE alcohol, they tend to frown upon it. I wouldn’t like to see you get a nasty fine or shut down due to you just posting the giving away of FREE Champagne.

    • SL says:

      It’s not free, you have to buy a meal to get a glass.

      • NU says:

        That’s interesting, because it says FREE. The ABC laws for alcohol-driven promotional marketing are pretty clear. Any type of alcohol cannot be sold for less than it costs. But I get your point. The advertisement for FREE glass of champagne should read COMPLIMENTARY, the wording is different, because it means that the house is paying for the alcohol as opposed to giving it away. A goal of the ABC is to prevent over-consumption by the patron by putting heavy fines on the purveyor for promoting alcohol-driven sales. Because the customer has to buy the food the get the included champagne, thus not promoting over-consumption, Mac’s shouldn’t run into any problems. Sadly, bureaucracy sucks, and all I was trying to do was help.

  2. Mac says:

    Needless to say, reading your comments late yesterday ensured I had a pretty sleepless night last night. After consulting the ABC this morning, I’m happy to say that they are perfectly happy with the concept of what we are doing but you’re absolutely right about the wording. In fact, they don’t like “free” or any derivation thereof (including “complimentary”, “gratis”, “on the house” etc) but they are fine with us saying that the cost of a meal includes a glass of champagne (or freshly brewed Iced Tea for those performing surgery in the afternoon). So that’s what we’ll be doing tomorrow between 11:30am and 4pm to coincide with the royal wedding repeat coverage on TV.

    Thanks for the comments and hope to see you tomorrow where debate on the finer points of ABC regulations will be as banned as giving away free booze.

    Cheers, Mac

  3. NU says:

    Ill be there with bells on.

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